Bringing It All Together
Last week, I wrote a new Quick Read that brings attention to the significant power our thoughts have in shaping our lives. Less than 24 hours later, I found myself referring back to the same ideas I had penned — using them as an aid to reframe an aggravating situation into something more pleasant. The timing couldn’t have been better. With the excerpt still fresh in my mind, it was an opportunity to put my own words into practice and bring it all together.
I took the boys out last Tuesday to run a few errands. Curbside pickup is our life these days. Covid aside, wrestling two toddlers in and out of their carseats is not my favorite sport. But getting things done without that hassle? Amazing!
Anyway, we hadn’t been in the car for very long when my youngest piped up with cranky cries. It was getting close to naptime and he was making it very clear that he wanted out of his carseat. As he cried, his brother began to mimic his sentiments—frustrated that he couldn’t keep the sun out of his eyes, hungry for a snack, and probably irritated by the crying two seats over. I did my best to appease the crowd, throwing snacks and books and toys into their tiny hands. I took a few deep breaths and did my best to get us home quickly, without cursing the sun in my eyes or myself for forgetting my sunglasses. The cries only got louder and more urgent and it would suffice to say that we were all a little on edge.
As we continued to make our way home, driving on a busy, two-lane stretch of road, a car came up quickly behind me. The driver was weaving between the two lanes, inching ever closer to my bumper, when he or she decided to straddle the middle line. Every few seconds their car would speed forward and then slowly drop back a few feet, all the while remaining uncommitted to a single lane. It didn’t take long for me to decide that I didn’t want to deal with such an unpredictable driver. As we reached an intersection, the car behind me lurched again and revved its engine. I turned.
With that car no longer on our bumper, I realized how frustrated I was to have had to divert from our quick path home. I didn’t know where the road we were on would take us but I knew it would most definitely add more time to our trip. I was also annoyed that I had to change course for someone else’s carelessness. I thought “great, now we’re all upset, trapped in the car even longer, and I can’t just sit back and enjoy the drive; I have to figure out where we are and how to get back home before I’m rendered deaf by the boys’ complaining. Well, it was good while it lasted.”
As I thought that, we passed a field full of construction equipment: excavators, bulldozers, compactors, and more. The machines were huge and in plain view. Knowing how much my oldest loves seeing construction equipment, I was immediately reminded of what I had written the night before about having a deficit mindset and overlooking potential when you’re focused on problems.
Turning off our original route, I had only seen problems and complications. After noticing the trucks, however, I forgot the “problems” and saw the potential. What began as an inconvenience became an opportunity to spend more time together, in the comfort of the car, on a spontaneous field trip to drive by some cool machines. We had more time to talk together and more time to feel the sun on our faces. The situation wasn’t perfect but there were aspects to appreciate. I just had to think differently about it.
I’ll admit that this was a minor inconvenience but that’s what makes this anecdote even more important. It wasn’t a big deal but I could have let it affect my whole day. I could have built it up into something it wasn’t instead of allowing myself to move on. A lot of our time can be easily spent feeling aggrieved by mildly annoying situations. And while we can’t avoid these situations entirely, we can try to shift our perspective and, at the very least, choose to keep those moments in the rearview.