Mama’s A Goal-Getter
Moms, the last thing I want to do is add anything to your to-do list. It’s long enough already, I’m sure. But chances are, if you’re here, reading this, you’re not afraid to put in the work to become a better you than you were the day before. So let’s talk about personal goal setting.
I don’t know why, but plotting career goals seems like such a no-brainer. Planning personal goals, on the other hand, seems so...time intensive? Selfish? Unnecessary? No! Having goals for ourselves, no matter what stage of motherhood we’re in, is crucial.
Why Are Personal Goals So Important?
When life is feeling especially chaotic or unmanageable, it can feel counterintuitive to spend time thinking about the big picture when so many small and immediate items demand our attention. But having personal goals puts us in charge of our lives — something that’s never been more relevant than during these strange pandemic times when many things continue to be out of our control.
I’m not suggesting you give up every opportunity to relax!
I mentioned in one of my Quick Reads that life without clear goals is a dead-end. Goals give us direction, acting as a guide map to what we want in life. They shift our focus to the things we find important, which means they can also filter out unproductive uses of time. Think about that: filtering out the unnecessary means more time for the priorities in our lives. More time. More productivity. And as it turns out, more happiness.
Goals are a big contributor to happiness. Of course achieving the end goal feels great, but the small successes along the way do, too. These small wins are the positive boosts we need to feel happier, more productive, and more motivated.
Goal setting also serves as a model for our kids. As you work toward a goal, they witness the effort, resiliency, and perseverance it takes to achieve success. They also become familiar with what it looks like to overcome setbacks and can learn healthy ways to respond to failure.
We’re All Short On Time. Stop Making Excuses.
It can be daunting to take on a major goal, overwhelming even. Likewise, a goal we know will take a long time seems unrealistic. “How will I ever get there?” we ask. “I’m busy. There isn’t enough time in the day. This will take FOREVER.” Well, friends, the time will pass regardless and the only difference will be whether you’ve achieved your goals or not.
The time will pass regardless and the only difference will be whether you’ve achieved your goal or not.
Identifying and Prioritizing Your Goals
Let’s go! My favorite way to start is a two-step process sometimes called the 5/25 Method. It was relayed to me as Warren Buffet’s decision-making style, but the story I heard has since been debunked. Despite the unknown origins, it’s still quick, easy, and effective. Here’s what you do:
1. Write your top 25 goals on a single piece of paper
I know 25 sounds like way too many, but include projects you’re currently working on and everything you’ve been wanting to start. I think you’ll be surprised how quickly you surpass that number. Goals need to be well-defined if they’re going to provide any direction so make your goals specific and refrain from vague language like “get fit” or “read more.” (I love these parent-specific examples).
2. Circle five.
Congratulations! These are your priorities. The remaining twenty are to be avoided at all costs. These are the “shiny objects” that will distract you from your main goals. Because they made the original list of 25 it may seem okay to spend time on them here and there, but that’s a trap! Working on all 25 will only fracture your attention and diminish your results. Seriously, avoid them for now. You can reassess after you’ve completed your goals.
Make Your Goals A Reality
Check periodically to see if you’re on track and make adjustments as needed. Don’t beat yourself up if things are taking longer than you’d planned. Slow progress is still progress after all. Besides, you’re responsible for far more than yourself these days so there may be setbacks you can’t control. Expect them and decide (now!) that when they occur, you’ll keep going.